Waiting for a bus….

The other evening, I was attempting to think of an analogy that might offer a way to explain the feeling that, for me anyway, is often associated with the anxiety that accompanies the build up to the annual scan to check on a tumour. In my case a brain tumour, but for others it could be any type of tumour.

And then it came to me whilst in the bath (which is where I can often have time for this sort of think!). You know when you have taken a trip into a city, like London and you decide to start walking, instead of hopping on a bus, because it looks like it could be a while before it turns up? Once you’ve reach that first stop you then decide to walk from one bus stop to the next. And of course, once you reach that bus stop you begin to wonder, shall I wait here for the bus or do I chance it and try to get to the next stop before it comes along?

It suddenly dawned on me, it is that dilemma of whether to wait or move on, which provides an ideal way to help describe how it can feel (for me anyway) as the date for the scan get closer. Life suddenly seems to go on hold while waiting at one of life’s bus stops. Given the uncertainty, with the current COVID-19 situation, of whether I will have my scan, at the beginning of March (which can add to the anxiety), the other night I took the bold decision: Iā€™m just going to walk to the next bus stop in my journey. Hopefully, I won’t need to start running as I see the bus appearing over the horizon! šŸ™‚

I wonder if anyone else thinks this works as a way to describe the feeling?

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